jackxwill - pirates of the caribbean slash

Title: Maybe

Author: Akiko Date (isaac_glen@juno.com)

Pairing: J/W

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Emotions are complicated, pirates are complicated, Will's life is complicated.

A/N: Random weird stuff. Written while on pain meds. Wheeee...hope you enjoy it, Elven.



He'd thought he loved Elizabeth Swann.

And he had told her so. That he had cared about her since their
childhood, when she had been his savior, and when he had been a lonely
blacksmith's apprentice looking up at the Governor's mansion that seemed
to fulfill every dream he had ever thought up late at night when he was
trying to sleep over the sound of his master's snoring.

He truly believed that he loved her, until their lips met on top of the
parapret and he felt nothing.

Maybe he had loved her.

And now he didn't.

She didn't understand that, really, not until he was gone. She didn't
understand until she was all alone and Norrington came to comfort her.
Then she understood, and she moved on, though every once in a while she
looked out of the window towards the blacksmith's shop, expecting to see
Will coming up the road in his brown overcoat with his wild curly hair
pulled back.

He never did, and eventually she stopped looking and expecting.

Because she could no longer expect anything out of him. And it never
hurt as much as she thought it would.

Because maybe they had been in love, and now they weren't.

Will did very little traveling before he was found. Like they had been
drawn together by some strange force that he couldn't name. Jack had
spotted him nearly after he had left Port Royal, in a little town he had
never expected to find anyone in, and had smiled that gold spotted grin
and had sauntered over to have a word with him.

He wasn't even surprised to hear that the wedding was off, or that Will
wished to join his crew. He just got his all-knowing smile and draped an
arm over Will's shoulders, leading him through the streets to the Pearl.

And one night when Jack was drinking in the captain's cabin and Will was
pretending to drink they kissed. Jack kissed Will, and he kissed him
back. Fingers intertwined and hearts locked together tightly.

And they weren't merely maybe in love.

At least, that's how it seemed at first.

But there were many nights when Jack wasn't there. When the pirate left
Will alone in their bed to visit other beds.

Because he was only a blacksmith's apprentice. Even if he loved Jack
with all of his heart, it would always be the same. The Pearl's captain
would whisper him promises in the dark under rustling sheets. Whispered
promises that held no tangible clarity in the light of the sun.

And he knew he would never touch Jack's heart the way that he wanted to.
Even when he patiently awaited the pirate's return, when he would come
back f rom his nightly visits, smelling of cheap rum and even cheaper
perfume. And other nights when Will would reach out to touch Jack's
hand, but was brushed away or ignored.

Sometimes, when they were in port and Jack had left his place in their
bed cold and empty, Will would leave the cabin and go out onto the deck.
The Pearl was always more beautiful in the moonlight. She would become
gilded with silver, like the waves that lapped gently against the hull.
And he would look down at the silver stained water, and he always thought
it might be easier to just fall over the railing painted with moon's
blood.

But he never did.

And one night Jack found him like that. The rest of the crew had gone
into the town that night. Will had gone during the day, and had promised
to watch the ship.

Like he did every time they were in port.

But Jack came back first, for once smelling only of salty air and the
burning undertone of rum that always clung to him.

'Will? What are ye doin' out 'ere?"

It was the first time Captain Jack Sparrow didn't seem to expect what
came next. When Will turned to him and hugged him tightly, crying into
his shoulder.

But he comforted him all the same, and pulled him back into their cabin,
into their bed. Not to make love, but to console and hold him through
the night.

After that night they understood each other.

Jack would still leave, sometimes, to come back smelling of cheap rum and
perfume. And sometimes he still turned away at Will's touch.

But Will was patient.

Because they weren't just maybe in love.

~*End*~

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