Author: pir8fancier (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Rating: PG-13 for implied sex
Summary: "How in the bloody hell are we supposed to tell these two cats apart when you've named them the same? They are *both* black, *both* male with balls the size of oranges, *both* green-eyed, and *both* named 'Black'."
Warning: Twee factor exceptionally high, cats
Authors Notes: Written in the Education-verse world, sometime in the future. No beta, any mistakes are mine alone. Thanks to Haleth (aka heartofslash) for my usual wholesale hijacking of her Jack Sparrow. Gonna need to start paying you a fee, darlin'. For the beginning of the Education-serve world, see Education in hinterlands of my LJ. And for angsty continuation of the Education series, see Re-educated, Part 1 and Re-educated, Part 2.
Disclaimer: Fill in the blanks
Will threw his arms up in the air.
"How in the bloody hell are we supposed to tell these two cats apart when you've named them the same? They are *both* black, *both* male with balls the size of oranges, *both* green-eyed, and *both* named 'Black'."
Jack yawned, and bent over to pet both cats. They winked at Will and then moved into Jack's caress.
"Don't know what you're getting yer knickers in a twist for, lad. They know their names."
"Bollocks," Will shouted. "It's the same name. How can they know?" Will stood arms clasped around himself, clearly in a lather.
"Will, you all right, lad? Get too much sun yesterday? You're going half-cocked over the cats."
"No, I am *not* all right," he shot back in his shirty best. "You're going to drive me insane one of these days. I am just going to go over the edge."
"Now, Will," Jack sidled up to him and tweaked an ear with his thumb and forefinger. "Can think of much more pleasant ways to go mad than discussing the cats."
Will swatted Jack's hand away. "Prove it to me."
Jack's hand began to weave its way toward Will's other ear. "Prove what?"
"Stop it, I said," Will admonished. "Prove it to me. The names. That they know the difference. Stand over there. Near the main mast." Will pointed.
Jack shrugged and sashayed over to the mast. "Here, luv?"
"Yes, now call the cat on the right. Call him to you."
Jack scratched behind an ear. "Can't herd cats, Will. Not like dogs, you know."
"Prove it to me or no sex for a week."
Jack raised his eyebrows at that. "Setting the stakes pretty high, aren't you, Will? The cats come to me, I claim a forfeit. All day in the cabin doing whatever comes to Jack's rather naughty imagination, savvy?"
Will waited two beats, then said, "Whatever?"
Jack nodded. "Manacles."
Will swallowed. "We don't usually, ah, do that during the day."
"Pirate," Jack cooed. "Blindfold, too."
"B.b.b.lindfold?" Will stuttered. Jack swayed over to where Will was standing and slid a fingertip along Will's bottom lip.
"Said *whatever* came to my imagination, Mr. Turner."
Will licked his lips. Then nodded. Before he stepped away from him, Jack grabbed Will's crotch and gave him a gentle squeeze.
Positioning himself back at the mast, Jack rubbed his own crotch for a couple of seconds and sighed. "Feel right inspired, now. Black. Black. Stand attention," Jack ordered, speaking directly to the two cats who had flopped over on their sides, soaking up the sun on the hot deck. "Want to fuck Will something fierce here, do me a favor and I'll see that cook saves some nice fish for you two for dinner. When I call your name, come over for a pet, savvy?"
Will would have sworn the cats understood. They blinked and both uncurled themselves to sit on their haunches.
"Now, William, let's get this over with. Need to ravish a certain blacksmith who is looking rather fetching in that new shirt. Did I buy that for you, luv? Have excellent taste. Can see your nipples...."
"Jack," Will warned. He got a shrug. "Now call the cat on your right. That one." Will pointed in direction of black cat number one.
Jack leaned against the mast and said quite clearly, "Black, come here, luv. Jack wants to scratch your ear."
The cat Will pointed to moseyed the ten or so feet over to where Jack was standing to get his promised scratch.
"See," Jack insisted.
"No, we're not done. Now call black cat number two."
"Sorry, luv," Jack apologized. "Going to have to put your through your paces, as well. Will's being a stubborn bastard this morning. Black, come here, will scratch your belly for you. You like that."
Sure enough, black cat number two lazily made his way over to where Jack and black cat number one were, flopped down, and exposed his stomach for Jack to scratch.
Jack leaned over, whispered something to both cats that Will couldn't hear, then straightened up.
He smirked. Hiked his eyebrows in the direction of their cabin. "Forfeit, Mr. Turner. Forfeit."
In the lazy part of the afternoon, when the sun leans against the horizon, the two of them lay in bed, half wrapped around each other, Will on the edge of sleep, Jack winding a damp coppery curl around his finger once more before he, too, fell asleep.
"So at least put little collars around them so we can tell them apart," Will whispered and then yawned. So good. He heard Jack whisper back, "Ta, luv," before Jack's hand slid from Will's head to curl around Will's shoulder and begin that near purr that signaled he'd fallen asleep.
The next day the cats appeared on deck, identical red silk ribbons tied around their necks.
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